http://psychcentral.com/lib/11-hints-for-resolving-relationship-irritations/
1. Get to the real issue. it boils down to “unmet needs
2. Consider if it really bothers you. Try to let it go and see how that goes
3. Don’t dismiss a key issue for you. If “you’re dreaming about it, and you’re thinking about it, you’ll have to talk about it,”
4. Use the softened startup.
5. Be patient.
6. Push through the avoidance. staying conflict-free isn’t a marker of a happy relationship
7. Listen, don’t fix. Before you talk about the solutions, make sure you both understand each other and your core concerns.
8. Collaborate on a solution.
9. Don’t focus on the fiery feelings. “Anger, frustration or irritation may be there, but those are not the most important feelings. The more important feelings will be something softer and more vulnerable like anxiety, fear, hurt or sadness.”
10. Set up some structure.
11. Get help.